Wednesday, 17 January 2007

Home

We had such a great day and evening together, the kids were behaving their best and when they were put to bed we, the grownups, were relaxing in the lounge.

I made the mistake of bringing up the subject of buying a house.

And my dear sweet loved bestest sister and her husband spent the rest of the evening explaining to me why I have to move back home.
Softly softly, ever so gently, but still.

:-(


It's so unfair, it makes me so upset. I thought they had accepted my choice now, that I have chosen to live down south - AWAY from home, and that it's what makes me happy.
But no no no, it's all wrong, I have to see reason and find it within me to move home.

Home.
What is home?


I was once living in another country, then I came home. Am I not living at home now? I thought, that when they had travelled all the way to Australia and back they would realise how incredibly close I am now.
I am close.

I don't want to be closer. Do I?
GRRRRRR.
That's why it's so unfair. I don't question their choices, do I?
I don't want to do that to them, it's not my decision where they live. If they wanted to move to China - good for them. If it makes them happy to stay here, good for them.

Every time they question me, I have to go through the painstakingly unclear and dodgy logic which brought me to where I am now. And nothing in my life have been a set plan to do anything in particular, things happen, opportunities appear. I have chosen a path which has given me a great deal of satisfaction. I am very happy where I am at the moment, why must I defend that?