Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Complicated communication issues

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that I haven't had a voice in four days now? Because last night I was in a totally foul mood but as I had absolutely no way to express my feelings I fell asleep instead.

I was cross because I felt that S had left me all on my own with baby and a raging cold (and I mean a RAGING cold). He had so many important things to do at work. It's not fair to be cross with S, I know. But I spent two entire days just barely staying on my feet, crying and doing nothing else but feed our son and change his diaper when it needed changing. Tobias and I was sitting in front of the TV as zombies (he was a very restless little zombie I was a more near-death zombie). It was a horrible feeling, blech! I felt very lonely as all I wanted to do was curl up and die, but that's not really an option when you have a babe to care for.

So last night I really wanted to have a go at S for EVERYTHING. Naturally that wouldn't have been particularly creative, no. I mean, it's not his fault I'm having a cold. It's not his fault I am so lousy at expressing my needs either. Right.

So I think the conclusion is that for now, it's a blessing that I actually can't speak when I first feel the urge to say something. Wonder if I can bring this knowledge with me past the point of recovery?

1 comment:

Morskan said...

Å, vilka resonemang jag har med mig själv ibland, om hur fiffigt det vore om jag bara tog ett andetag eller räknade till tio eller nåt, innan jag öppnade munnen. Och så nöjd jag känner mig, när jag ibland hinner lägga band på mig... :O)