Soothing

This voice.

Angry and frustrated

Last comment from kids school: "Be here, come and spend a day here and see what we do". Total 100% guilt-trip. Who am I to want them to figure out how to make school work for my child? Who am I to want to be able to trust them to have education and good ideas enough to manage to make my child want to go to school, stay in school, survive in school and come out of there with enough knowledge to make it into adulthood? Who am I to want them to provide an environment for my child where it's safe and where death doesn't seem like a better place?

I will absolutely go and spend a day there.

Underwear

Life's too short for bad underwear.

That's still true.
I just rediscovered this place. Will not go anywhere else for underwear (at least until I forget or run into one of those "bargains" again...).

Happy happy new new

Another year has passed.
I can't say I know more about who I am. But the kids seem to handle the separation with equanimity. I am at a very interesting point in my career.  I manage the cost of owning my own house. I don't have much spare time. But I suppose my spare time is being with the kids right now. Being with the kids and for the kids.
That'll be plenty and it's plenty more than many people have.

When will I get Отава Ё on Spotify??

I swear, I can not stop listening to this song! :-D
The group Отава Ё (Otava Yo) have a YouTube channel with some more songs, this one is the catchiest but there are a few more fit to go on a playlist. :-)

...and check this out: https://youtu.be/5wodaofs5N0

True introvert?

I am alone at home, tasked (by myself) with the task of cleaning the house (the entire thing). Haven't done that for an embarrassing amount of time.

Facing this I naturally procrastinate.
I "småplockar" (pick up and sort loose items off the floor and surfaces) in preparation of the big bang activity of running the hoover around the place and try to pep talk myself into why cleaning the house is not a bad thing.

I actually end up realising this is far from a bad thing.
Because when thinking of "things that could be worse than this" I come up with the following:

1. Having to go outside - meaning having to wash up and get dressed properly.
2. Having to go see people - meaning having to act smart, dress smart and be smart.
3. Having to go to an event/party - meaning having to dress up, fix hair and face and think of matching accessories and god do I bring a bag will I sleep over do I have to bring a change of shoes..? 

The two latter have the aspect of "having to meet and interact with people" assumed. This is not something I do if I have an option to not do it.

All of the above are SO much worse than cleaning the house that I ended up being rather cheerful at the prospect of staying in and cleaning the house today.

Yay me.

Yay introversy.

http://www.linusjonkman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/introvert-vs-extrovert.jpeg

Half and half

1974?

Some time ago I realised I have possibly less years left to live than what I have lived already. Which means I'm at a half way point in life. It's rather fitting, I feel.
I am quite literally at a turning point too.

I am living on my own. Part time with my wonderful, rambunctious, arguing, intelligent, beautiful children. Part time on my own alone. I own my own house (weee!). I have a decent job which magically manages to keep me interested year in and year out (twenty years this year).
I love my body. Not all of the time, not for all of it's quirks, but more and more so as time goes. My body is not perfect, but that's not the point. It's AWESOME, fricken hell the things it has done and the places it has carried me through... :-)

I know I should've done many many things.
Should've. Should have. Schmould have. Never mind. I haven't done them. That's that. Not much I can change about that.
Regret is a wasteful emotion.


Question is, what will I do with the rest of my years? :-)